I eagerly look forward to days of smooth sailing and routine.

I long for days where I’m not on the front lines of a loved one’s secret alcohol addiction. My soul is already weary from my world turned upside down this spring, and my anger is ebbing into complacent apathy; fighting back only makes things worse. I keep soldiering on, but my pace has slowed and I long for rest that never seems to arrive.

I want to enjoy life by having friends over with tea, using hospitality to do the Lord’s work. This includes crochet projects for the homeless and giving of time, talents, and money to those around me in need.

With this enjoyment, I truly want to experience joy – something my Generlized Anxiety Disorder deprives me of – I obsessively worry about everything – especially the patients I see. I’ve gone days with my stomach in knots, eating only enough to survive, worried sick that I may have hurt someone.

I want to lead a joyfully quiet life, focused on the Lord.

And I look forward to the day it becomes a reality in my little world.